Little Way of the Family


Violent Video Games Delay Development of Moral Judgement in Teens

If you needed more reasons to keep violent video games out of your home, here it is. New research shows a clear connection between playing violent video games and a lack of moral development in teens.

What struck me most about this particular article was not the confirmation of the obvious – that video games are bad for kids – but one throwaway comment by the author of the study.

Bajovic concedes that “prohibiting adolescents from playing violent video games is not realistic.”

The notion that it’s unrealistic for parents to prohibit destructive behavior in their teens is self-evident to a Science Daily journalist and accepted by a researcher in teen behavior. It’s a pretty common delusion. I know parents of 2nd graders who can’t say no when their kids ask for a smartphone. I have had other parents tell me to just send my kids to public school. You can’t keep them from being exposed to that stuff anyway, right?

It’s so wrong-headed it makes me want to hit my head against the wall. Our kids don’t have to play video games. They don’t have to be sexually active. They don’t have to try alcohol as a minor.

As parents, we must have a firm loving hand. We need to show strong moral leadership. We have to keep them away from bad influences and surround them with positive.

It’s a ton of work, it requires sacrifice, and there are no guarantees. Our children are humans with free will, after all. But that doesn’t mean it’s useless to try. Car seats and seat belts aren’t guaranteed either, but we’d never consider not using them.

Be strong and protect your kids while you can. They’ll enter the big bad world soon enough.



Superhero Movies
August 25, 2013, 8:08 pm
Filed under: Children, Culture, Family Time, Sin | Tags: , , , , ,

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With the announcement of Ben Affleck as the new Batman came a hubbub of debate in a Yammer group at my work over the pros and cons, along with much angst and passion. As Batman was my childhood favorite superhero (I still remember when in college I eagerly awaited the first Batman movie starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson), I of course had my opinions. My biggest regret, however, was not the choice of the new Batman. My biggest regret was that there was a very strong likelihood I would not be able to share this upcoming movie with my children. In that case, I won’t see it at all.

We went through similar issues when the Amazing Spiderman movie came out awhile back. My youngest son, a big Spiderman fan, saw the commercials (no matter how little TV you let them watch, it seems like the commercials always filter in), and he badly wanted to see it. Dutifully, his mother and I looked the movie up on Parent Previews and quickly found that the movie was deemed even more violent than the previous incarnations of Spiderman, and included a man’s arm being ripped from his body. We decided to pass.

It doesn’t make me feel good to say “no” to allowing my children to see these movies. I want them to be entertained, and I very much enjoy being able to share the characters who I enoyed as a youth with them. I’ll even go further and say that the “simplistic” story of Good vs. Evil as portrayed in the comics has, historically, been a good and enriching thing for kids, just as those kinds of heroic tales have often been a good thing.

Two things have happened to spoil that. First, in attempting to aspire to a higher level of art, the comics have become morally ambiguous. Second, and maybe this is the same underlying problem, the comics have geared themselves to adults, and to that end have incorporated violence, sexuality, and immorality to such an extent that they are no longer appropriate viewing for kids. That is a big problem and irresponsible behavior by the movie-makers.

I believe in the free market. In this case, however, we have people who are marketing movies that children want to see, but making them for adults. Remember, these are comic book characters. Kids have every reason to believe that they should be able to see a movie about a comic book hero. “Adultifying” (I love making up words) a kids movie to such a degree that kids really shouldn’t be watching it is irresponsible. It corrupts children. You can’t just say that parents are responsible for what their kids watch, so I can do what I want. Sure, parents are responsible, but some parents won’t be. Parents are responsible for keeping their kids from playing in the street, but that doesn’t give you the right ot drive down a residential street at 100mph.

I’ll let my kids watch some of these movies, as long as I am right there to cover their eyes at the scary parts. Some, like the recent Avengers movie, are basic stories of good vs evil. The bad guys are scary but caricatured, and the good guys are flawed but unambiguous. The Dark Knight, however, (the one with Heath Ledger as the Joker) was pathological. The bad guy was a scary man who revelled in doing horrible things and was only defeated by a Batman who was willing to do bad things himself. This is the kind of movie that could scar a kid. I’ll let them watch Lord of the Rings, because the bad guys, while scary, are eventually defeated by purity, by self-sacrifice, and destroyed by their own evil. These are good messages.

Why can’t we have movies like the Michael Keaton Batman, or the Christopher Reeves Superman? Movies that are intelligent enough for adults but still watchable by children? I’m tired of seeing movies that I would have longed to see as a child only to find out that there is no way my kids should see them. It’s cruel of movie studios to put out movies like that, lures to children but inappropriate for those same children. The question of why they do it is an interesting one, but that’s a different post.



Radical Parenting Tips for the 21st Century

The 21st century, with the Internet, cell phones, gay marriage, condoms in public schools, and a 50% divorce rate, poses unique challenges to parents. We want to protect our children from predators, from themselves, and from the moral corruption that is running rampant in our society. This requires a radical response from parents. Anything less puts our kids at risk of following the world’s way of life and not God’s. Here are some radical tips to put into practice that radical response.

The Don’t’s

  1. Don’t let your kids on Facebook, MySpace, or other social networking sites. There is nothing positive to be gained from a child or teen being on those sites, and there are so many ways they can be hurt.
  2. Just pull the plug on cable TV. It sucks money, time, and vitality from the family. There is little of value on cable TV and much that is dangerous. Do our kids really need to see who’s sleeping with who on Jersey Shore or the Real World? Do they really need to know about the glorified life of Teen Mom?
  3. Don’t allow video games into the house. As with cable TV, video games are, at best, a colossal waste of time. Time that could be spent in reading, music, hobbies, or sports.
  4. Keep the computers and phones out of the bedrooms. The internet is one giant near occasion of sin for everyone, especially teenagers. Even the “good kids” can be tempted by porn that is one click away. Keep the computer in an open, highly trafficked area, and monitor its use religiously,
  5. Kid’s don’t need cell phones. Well, not all the time. If there is a legitimate need – such as for calling home when an after school or weekend activity is finished, then get them a simple no frills phone and let them use it during those times. The rest of the time, it is back in the parents’ possession. Texting, sexting, and camera phones are another huge opportunity for sin.

The Do’s

  1. Pray together as a family. Morning prayers, evening prayers, and grace before meals. That’s a minimum. From there, move on to the family rosary.
  2. Eat dinner together as a family. Turn the cell phones off. Turn the TV off. Pray, eat, and talk. You will be surprised what you learn and how much you enjoy it.
  3. Go to Mass together. Don’t divide and conquer; replan those weekend activities around the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Nothing is more important.
  4. Father’s, bless your children before bed. You are a priest in the domestic church. Your blessing counts.
  5. Fill your children’s lives with good things so there is no room for bad. Kids who are at ballet lessons aren’t out with questionable friends, getting into trouble, and they aren’t sneaking onto internet sites better left un-surfed.
  6. Start Family Fun Night and don’t miss it. Give your kids a reason to want to be home with you. Make them feel they will be missing out if they spend Friday or Saturday night with their friends.
  7. None of these steps should be radical, but our culture makes them that way. Our lustful, gluttonous, voracious culture tells our kids they must have everything, especially freedom they aren’t ready for yet. It is our job as parents to put our foot down on the brake and stop the insanity.